I just want to start out by saying I am blessed. However, I was not always able to see my blessings. As a child, the story and scene of my life was a
complete different one. There was no father in my life, only a mother
who tried her best with what she was given. Unlike now, many times I would wake
up wondering if there would be food to eat or clean clothes to wear.
A childhood can shape a person in so many ways, and I am convinced many times it
isn't merciful. So much hurt, bitterness, anger, mistrust, and pride waits and
brews, but often overlooked is the existence of forgiveness, mercy,
and understanding. It took many years for me to understand my sinful nature, forgiveness and
mercy and when I finally did, it was so liberating to my soul. I was finally
able to stop expecting so much from people in my life who I thought owed me
something: an explanation, an apology, reasons for why my life was the way it
was.
And
when I stopped believing I deserved those things I was also free to love them
and serve them. It didn't stop the hurt from coming from time to time, but now
I can cry freely and understand that it is okay to cry and bring my hurt before
Jesus.I am comforted by the fact that God knew of all of my fears and pains
during those hard times and sustained me through them, just like he sustains me
today.
Along with those memories which come and go often, I also have memories of sinful, selfish and bad choices I have made which caused me pain and suffering. Don't we all have something we wish we could go back and change? Guilt loves to come and remind me of those too.
Along with those memories which come and go often, I also have memories of sinful, selfish and bad choices I have made which caused me pain and suffering. Don't we all have something we wish we could go back and change? Guilt loves to come and remind me of those too.
I am ashamed at how easy it is for me to forget all of the humbling experiences and take all I have now for granted. I know now that I don't need to sit and grieve what to me was a hard childhood, but I can sit, look back, and simply thank God for his provision during those hard times and be grateful for what he has given me to enjoy now.
Now I understand I was blessed in those hard days too. I was blessed to get food and
clothes just in time. I was blessed to have a mother, sisters and brothers to
play with and talk to. I was blessed to have a place to sleep at night. I was blessed to be able to go to school and
have teachers rooting for me and helping me. I know many people do not get to
experience that. And I am blessed now although my trials and hardships look different.
My words to you my friends is that when
the past threatens to hurt you and unleash bitterness still even now, remember the Father's
grace. His grace has been present since the beginning. His grace was ultimately displayed at the Cross
and the freedom He has given us in Christ. No matter what your past involved
there was and is grace in it even if you cannot see it. I pray that God will reveal it
to you and draw you to Himself, to free you and let you see how blessed you are.
Grecia,
ReplyDeleteWe love having you in our family, we are grateful Tyler chose you to be his wife. You are always so positive, cheerful and loving. You are an inspiration to me. We need to tell you more often how much we love you.
Love,
GRANDMA
Hey! I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazing writer and I would like to see some new blog posts soon please! :D
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