A Knee-Knocking Experience

Today's writing prompt of choice, courtesy of 642 Things To Write About:

That time you were the most terrified-your knees were knocking, your heart was racing, you could barely stand to be in your own skin:

I can hardly think of it without cringing. I still question that decision to this day. It would be a once in a lifetime experience they said! My knees were knocking before we even started and still more as we sat down. All around us strangers were laughing and joking as if nothing were wrong with what we were about to do. How can they be so calm and happy at a time like this? I looked around bewildered hoping to find a reflection of my feelings in another's face, but I found nothing. No understanding connection with anyone else in the small space we were in. Is anyone else here human?! It was so horrid that I wanted it to be over yet it had not even begun. Attempting to preoccupy myself with a happy place, I turned my thoughts to friends, old memories, anything to slow my racing mind. Oh to be anywhere else but here!

At last the room dimmed to darkness and the "experience of a lifetime" began much to my dread. The sounds emanating from around us caused my knees to knock together with no chance of me stopping them at all. How uncontrollable was their shaking! A light in the distance caught my eye and my stomach could barely prepare itself for the violent flipping that ensued! Laughter echoed somewhere in the distance and I desperately wished for the ability to laugh instead of the continual non stop shrieking happening in my head.  Pictures and scenes flashed before my eyes but I could not enjoy them nor could I bear them. My eyes squeezed tightly shut in hopes that the flipping and falling sensation would stop but to my horror it did not! I wondered how much longer I would have to suffer this way. At last after what seemed like an eternity of torment my heart began to slow, my muscles began to relax, and the spinning sensation eased. I opened my eyes and saw a light growing brighter in the distance. A wave of happiness and relief rushed through my being, my fists unclenched, and my scream finally dissipated into space. Scrambling and full of adrenaline, I searched for a way out and found it. Never again will I voluntarily get onto the "Back to the Future" ride at Universal Studios.

:)

*This is fresh and unedited (sorry), and I felt like sharing this experience with you. If you could not tell from this piece, I extremely dislike roller coasters or simulations of roller coasters! I have tried to overcome the fear but the experience is so full of anxiety for me that it is not fun. Isn't that sad?! Maybe some day. Writing this was really fun!

Ever Thought Of...Work As Worship?

"Why do you go to work every day? Is it to make some money to pay the mortgage and have food on the table? Is it to have people look at you with respect? Is it just the thing you do because it is expected of you? OR is it to worship? Do you think a three-minute video could begin to change your perspective of your workplace? Why not give this video a look? Do you think you could talk only using questions for a whole day? Why not just watch the video? " Pastor Dave Parker

Wow. I love every part of this video! It came to me via an email from Riverpark Bible Church (my home church). It is my desire to worship God through my work as well. And not only while I am AT work, but afterward as well. I have a tendency to complain and declare how much I "dislike" my job. Naturally I have pushed away the notion that God has placed me where I am for a reason: to glorify Him and serve where I am. It is so difficult to see that in the midst of the challenges that arise. These challenges are but one more reason to come before Him in prayer and utter dependency. How amazing and humbling that is.

Oh, Heart.

Oh heart. You are prone to wander. Everyday. Heart, do you not know who He is? Have you forgotten already? Yes. Yes you have! Don't try to tell me otherwise.

You have forgotten the dead state in which you were before. Lifeless. Without light. Without love. Without really beating. A disgrace! Being led to and fro recklessly...Paralyzed and helpless!

But God, being rich in mercy, called you, heart, and drew you. Washed you, gave you life and light and made you know TRUE love. You began to really beat because of worthy blood, His blood, which gave you worth and feet to stand on against the tempest from whence you came. Helpless you are no longer! Rise up and cling to your Saviour, Helper, and King, who beautifies you, quiets you, and allows you an audience with the Father. Live! Finally, you can live! Everyday, every hour, every minute. Do not forget it, O heart! Not for one second!

My Beloved and My Friend

I am so blessed by you Tyler

In small sweet gestures he reminded me of his love and friendship. He gently coaxed my smile back into place, determined as I was to stay in that dark place I was in. In my moment of weakness, when insecurity flooded in with no warning, he met me with kisses and joyfully prepared my favorite food. My smile was lacking but his smile remained and he continued cheerfully conversing to me, slowly removing the barrier which kept me from him. My tears flowed but his encouragement and understanding flowed all the more. He patiently waited and listened as I searched for words. He is a true friend and lover, and he knew how to bring me back from that dark place. What a gift and what a friend.

Smitten...By a Kitten

Sheer delight overwhelmed my heart when I caught my first glimpse of it.There it was, fuzzy as can be, blue eyed and dazzling white against the dark wood of the fence it was clinging to. An adorable kitten in my yard! Something was not right, however. Its slow lethargic movements turned my delight into compassion and further into a desire to feed the tiny animal. I begged my husband to feed it, exclaiming dramatically that it would die if we didn't. So he caved, and carefully prepared a milk and bread meal in a small tupperware dish. As soon as the poor thing heard his footsteps, it darted behind our shed.

They looked like this, but younger. <3

After work, I was curious as to whether the kitten ate our gift, and to my delight (again) I found two kittens on the fence ledge! One was basking in the sun, sprawled out with its eyes closed while the other was licking the tupperware clean. How I wish I could hold them! A larger cat showed up less than an hour later, and I can only assume that was momma. I was comforted in a small way, knowing that she was alive and back to look after them. I wonder if they will eventually leave?  I don't think Tyler will feed them again. If I ever owned a cat, I would like a white one. These are white. Hmmm. 

Coincidence? I Think Not.

My co-worker Vanessa is so wonderful.(She smells like strawberries and looks like a princess! She is a great coworker, and I am grateful for her.) Vanessa  and I are Brain Trainers at LearningRx. We work with students and help to strengthen their cognitive skills (memory, logic & reasoning, visualization). On this particular day, I was unable to sit in a chair for more than a minute due to my surgery. That fact made it very difficult to do my job that morning. By the time my student arrived (4 hours later) I was unable to sit at all. Hence, I got down on my knees and worked with her that way. A couple of times throughout the day, I was tempted to despair and cry. I had quite the ugly attitude about it too.

In the middle of my training session I heard the back door open. I turned to see who it was and realized that I recognized the shirt, the blond hair, and—his voice. He said “God loves you,” to all of my coworkers as he made his way to the front door to leave. I quickly smiled and got up to greet him, “Slavik!” He was surprised to see me and I told him I worked there. He then left, as quickly as he came. I was glad that he came through my office. This divine appointment was perfect, as it should be because it came from a perfect God.

I went back to my student with His words still ringing in my ears. “God loves you!” That truth changed my attitude and transformed the session. That is why I can work with joy and fight the temptation to neglect my work in the midst of my temporary pain and condition. Because of Jesus and what He did! Thank you Slavik Stankevich for reminding me, and thank you God for using him. (I will say that we are now required to lock the back door in case a not so kind person decides to enter through there.)

"...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God." (Romans 5:8-9 ESV)

"More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." (Romans 5:11 ESV)

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23 ESV)

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

(Romans 8:37-39 ESV)

Family Matters

Rosita (Left) Me (Center) Gemenis (Right)

Rosita's contribution to this post: 


"You need a dog."
"A girl can't sleep without her teddy."

"Church was great."                  

"My eyebrows still hurt."

"I loved your husband's enchiladas." 

Gemenis's contribution: 

"You need to get a bear." 

"I had fun watching movies." 

"I love your husband's enchiladas."

"Grecia, you are not boring." 

We laughed. A lot. We baked. I got told to act my age. That could only mean one thing: my sisters were around. I love my sisters! I get so much energy when they are around. 

Tyler and I brought my two youngest sisters home with us this past weekend and what a joy it was! On the way to Fresno with these two cuties we all played the letter game. It was so. much. fun! The two words that come to mind when I try to describe our sense of humor are awkward and random. I don't think a minute passed without laughter. Not ten minutes upon arriving at my house, the 14 year old asked if we could play Hide-And-Seek. After refusing her request thirty times I finally agreed to and I am SO GLAD we played! It was, again, so much fun! Even Tyler was enjoying himself! Why did I ever stop playing that game?  You should play it today. Better yet, right now. Seriously, gather your family, your roommates, your friends and play!

The 17 year old's request was to bake so I pulled out some cake mix, frosting, and a cupcake pan. After a mishap with the eggs, everything was flowing smoothly--too smoothly for their taste. They decided to spice up the mix with some peanut butter. That sounded gross to me as I am not a peanut butter fan, but I decided to risk ruining perfectly good batter. Finally we were ready to pour the batter into the cups so they grabbed spoons. While pouring the batter it was really fun to hear the course of their dialogue: arguing (move your arm!), a joke, sweet laughter, more arguing, and more jokes all followed by peanut butter-chocolate batter EVERYWHERE. We needed something to do while that baked so they stepped into my beauty shop (aka my living room) where I pretended to know lots about hair, makeup, and eyebrows. The cupcakes turned out pretty yummy by the way.

In addition to their fun personalities they are helpful, kind, and have beautiful servant hearts. They cleaned my whole house while I was at work and I didn't even ask them to! I love it when they enjoy themselves and I love seeing them happy. I felt like a mom as I planned meals and called them to the table, and made sure they were fed and comfy. I love them so much and wish nothing but the best for them. My heart aches in thinking of all the pain and heartache they have had (and will have) in this fallen world. I wish I could protect them from harm and boys (hehe). I got a glimpse of the impact I have on their young lives this past weekend, and I hope that my example and legacy will be a godly one. I am totally looking forward to the next time I see them. I myself was reminded something by their being here: to have fun in whatever the day brings and best of all, to laugh.

What are some of your fondest memories with your siblings or family in general?