Breathing For The First Time

I didn’t know much about Christ growing up. I was 14 years old when I learned more about the man who died on the cross. Through various retreats I was convinced that I had “accepted Jesus into my heart” and that I was “truly saved.” But I was blinded by my sin and I had the idea that I was a good person who was even better because I believed in God. In my declaration of being a Christian, I was in sin. I was proud, self centered, boasting in myself and not in the cross. I was anything but repentant.

I was 19 when God opened my eyes to see my sinfulness in light of His holiness. I realized that if I died I would stand guilty before Him for breaking His law, and that nothing I possessed or did could save me from what I deserve which is: hell. Through that time of disgust and torment about my rebellion against God, He graciously revealed to me the beautiful and firm hope of this: the blood that was shed on Calvary in my place by His Son Jesus Christ. Today my hope is built on nothing less than exactly that: Jesus’ Blood and Righteousness. My father drew me to Himself through Christ the Son. He found me and lovingly showed me that I was made to glorify and honor Him, and by His grace I am daily learning how to do that. It began by His kindness leading me to repentance and to the cross where I died to my old self, and now live new in Christ. I praise God for His grace and for allowing my dead heart to beat in His Son. There is a song whose lyrics I think express what He has done and is doing through Christ:

I was dead and depraved, and I loved my sin,

I was lifeless in the grave of hopelessness

You in Your loving kindness healed my blindness and let me see

Now I can see and savor, enjoy forever Your majesty

I’m finally alive and have been made new.